Monday 14 September 2015

Narayanbagar Chamoli Uttarakhand | 3 Things the Arrest of Sexual Assault accused teaches us

Written by Anil Singh

An 11 year old girl was found dead on Sunday Morning in Narayanbagar Chamoli Uttarakhand. The villagers suspected sexual assault of the girl. A dismissed Uttarakhand Police constable Birendra Kumar was suspected (by people) for committing the heinous crime; demanding the accused's immediate arrest they blocked the Narayanbagar-Bhagoti Motor way. By evening the accused was arrested and put in police custody.

I'm not questioning people's collective view here; as they might have real reasons to suspect the cashiered constable. One of which was that the accused was seen with the victim minutes before her body was traced. Proper investigation by police will decide who the culprit is. The man in police custody may or may not be the culprit; as a paedophile in any society is difficult to trace. As the so called tell-tale signs of a paedophile are often false positive. That apart, a paedophile is so smart that he/she manages to remain behind a veil.

What does this mean? Paedophiles are often not suspected (on many instances they are the powerful, respected and authoritative figures in the family of society) and; there are some people whose friendly behavior with children is mistaken as emanating from pedophilia.

There's no place for a paedophile or closet paedophile in a civilized society; but it's equally important a good person doesn't become victim of false positive.

Below are three things which every adult person must act on, so that he/she is not falsely accused of being a paedophile (a person who is sexually attracted to children).
  • Don't give a Lift (give a ride) to a minor (School Child). 
Not to disrespect any one but it's not enough for the parents to choose a good school for the child. If the school needs commute (travelling periodically); then they should make sure that as well. The school going kids asking for a lift, is not a good habit. Not only it puts the people plying on road at unnecessary inconvenience; but it can also be a real risk for such children.
  • If a child is in distress 
Because of the missed school bus or having no money for commute, then don't offer a lift to child's home; instead offer to call his/her parent or guardian. Take some other people in confidence as well. If the child cannot tell his/her address or his parent's phone number, then call the police.
  • Know the proper touch
In recent months, much is being shared about 'What Constitutes a proper Touch'. In short, it means teaching the children, what parts of their body, the other person can touch at; and which parts must never be touched.

Adults must also know what proper touch means while they are interacting with children. 
  • It is a bad touch if it hurts the child. 
  • It is a bad touch if someone touches the child on his/her body where the child doesn't want to be touched.
  • It is a bad touch if the person touches the child under his/her clothing or tickles him/her under the clothing.
  • It is a bad touch if a person touches the child in a way that makes the child feel uncomfortable. 
  • It is a bad touch if that touch makes the child feel scared and nervous. 
  • It is a bad touch if a person forces the child to touch him or her. 
  • It is a bad touch if a person asks the child not to tell anyone. 
  • It is a bad touch if a person threatens to hurt the child if he/she tells.
Since adults are entrusted upon to rear and take care of children; Hence closet paedophiles do exist in the societies and families. A possibility of a harmless person suspected of having paedophile tendencies simply because he/she shows more than necessary affection towards kids (A high degree of affection towards all children in general, which will appear unpalatable to majority of people) exists as well.

To end, it's not difficult for a child to differentiate between real affection and immoral intentions. They are aware of their bodies and mind; as much as an adult is. That's why they will not complain an affectionate hug or a little kiss. A child also understands when an adult who really loves him/her as a child mistakenly brushes off some prohibitive area of the body. In simple, every parent or guardian or any person who the child is close to (is usually a person who has reared the child right from infancy) must note that : Every child is intelligent enough to differentiate between touches. Hence when a child complains or shares some incident of improper conduct; he/she must be believed. No relation, including that of parents, can be kept out of suspicion. The rule of Thumb which must be followed is: Always believe what the child tells you (parent or guardian).

As far as adults are concerned, if they follow the above things while interacting with children, then they will remain safe from false paedophilia accusations as well.


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